doubt |dout|: (noun)
a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction; (Example: some doubt has been cast upon the authenticity of this account | they had doubts that they would ever win).
I’ve had my doubts about things, and believe me, doubts can shake you up quite a bit. I have this friend who would say that he doubts almost everything about God’s existence; but I can’t say that I blame him, sometimes I can feel the same way. This friend has seen quite a bit of junk concerning the Church in his lifetime, which in turn has left him sort of apathetic when it comes to God.
Even though my friend may be more on the extreme side, I can empathize with the doubts that he expresses because I’ve felt them time and time again.
The definition that I gave earlier states that doubt is a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction about something. I can honestly say that I’ve had these feelings more than I’d like to admit. How ever I may feel in those moments of doubt, I believe those moments are actually strengthening my faith for the better.
Let me explain: I don’t believe that doubt is necessarily a bad thing. I mean, the only real thing that we can be certain about is the fact that everyone has doubts!
I’ve come to notice that there are three major reasons for our doubting:
1) We’ve developed a certain idea or understanding of God that is biased and one-sided.
I believe that many so-called “Christians” out there lose their faith because of this very thing. Let me explain my thinking here: We can see faith through glasses that magnify the truth or we can see faith through a telescope that only focuses in on a single fixed point. I believe this first reason is like the telescope.
People who live this line of reasoning often think along the lines of “If God is good and the Devil is bad, then all good things come from God and all bad things come from the Devil.” This line of reasoning is very limited and counter Scriptural, if I might add!
People who live in this line of reasoning often give up on God the first time a bad event throws them down hard enough. They feel as if God has forsaken them or worse off, they can develop the idea that God is non-existent.
2) We can attach our faith to the faith of another person.
I believe this reason is why we lose so many teenagers from the Church come graduation.
This person derives their belief system based solely on the beliefs of others. Because their parents believe in God, they believe in God. Because their friends believe something, they believe it. Because their pastor said it, they believe it.
This line of reasoning can best be described as ignorance.
These people often experience doubt as they see others experiencing it. If a close relative or friend makes a decision that is out of character, their faith is shaken because their beliefs stem from the beliefs of another person.
I saw a friend in high school do this very thing. Through HS he seemed like the model Christian, but as soon as his parents divorced his faith became non-existent. Because his father was the source of his faith, and sadly the divorce, this guy’s belief system crumbled.
3) We can derive our beliefs solely on human reason.
This person is often very intellectual. They can wrap their minds around very complex ideas and are able to articulate faith in a very valid way; however, this person has never experienced their so-called faith. They have a belief system that has not come from personal experience but solely from hours of research.
I’m not saying that research is bad and experience is good; but I am saying that their should be a good coherence of the two for our belief to be authentic or accurate.
Doubt can be a good thing…
Let’s go back to my earlier statement about doubt not necessarily be a bad thing.
There have been very godly men in Scripture that have experienced doubts, and their doubts drove them to solid faith. (aka Job)
There have also been very un-godly men in Scripture who had doubts that lead them right into the path of Christ. (aka Nicodemus)
Doubts are feelings of uncertainty, which leave us feeling lost and confused; and when it comes to doubts about God, those feelings of lostness can be almost unbearable. I believe doubts are not to be feared, but embraced. Doubts can pave the way to belief.
Let me explain this with a short story: I grew up in a church environment. Everyone around in my circle of relationships claimed Christianity as their belief system (on a side note 60-70% of Americans claim Christianity). Growing up in this environment, I developed a mixture of attached beliefs and biased beliefs (Reason 1 and 2 above). One day, I experienced an extremely tramatizing event. And the belief system of many around me did more harm than good. This event left my belief system in shambles.
Because of my broken faith, I became a very avid self mutilator. It finally came to the point that my mother feared that I would do some irreversible harm to myself (aka suicide), so she started taking me to a child psychologist. I don’t remember how long I met with the psychologist or even if she helped, but I do know that the belief system that had held my life together thus far was gone.
It was in this moment that my road to true faith was paved. I believe that through all of the doubts, I was forced to seek after God for myself and for real this time. To my surprise, God revealed Himself in an amazing way.
I don’t want to end this blog on a shallow note, and say that from then on I’ve never experienced a doubt. That would be stupid to say, but I can say that my doubts have been for my good. My experience may be unique in situation, but it’s not unique in process. I have met countless others, who have experienced a similar process of doubting that lead them straight into the arms of a Sovereign God. But sadly I must admit that there have been just as many, if not more, whose doubts have gotten the best of them. Some of them are still wondering in their world of doubts, and some have already passed on never knowing relationship that I have experienced.
So to conclude, I simply want to say: If you are experiencing doubt, give God another chance. Give Him the benefit of the doubt and seek Him with all that you have. If you end up not finding God, you can honestly say that you’ve sought after Him; but if you find Him, you will experience the most amazing relationship that you will ever know in this lifetime.