Holding on…

I’m a pack rat. I keep everything. I mean, everything. If it’s old, beat up, and used I’m going to find a place for it. It doesn’t matter what it is, I’m just unable to let it go. Have you ever wanted to hold onto something? It’s hard letting things go… definitely when it means something to you. And then, even more, if not holding onto the “something” means that you could never see it.

I was watching a sermon the other day from one of my favorite pastors. He was talking about dating from the Song of Solomon. He kind of went on a small rant about how some people say they are satisfied with being alone just to convince God that they are really “ready” to date. By “ready” I mean, spiritual enough to handle a godly relationship. How, true it is the statement this pastor said. Some people do just that, say to everyone, “God is enough. I don’t need to date right now, I’ve got Jesus.” But as soon as everyone “knows” they are “ok” with being single, they expect God to give them what they “really” want- a relationship- not Jesus. But are we really “ready” if we are still waiting on God to give us something?

I’ve discovered I’m kind of like this with holding on to things in my life that are important to me. I act like these things don’t matter and pretend that I’m “satisfied” with only Jesus, but if I would be completely honest with myself I would have to admit that I am lying. I don’t think that we, being people, know how to be just satisfied with Jesus alone. I mean, when is the last time that you gave up something tangible to pursue your relationship with Jesus? Would you give up your car if it got in the way of Jesus? Would you give up your Xbox? Would you give up your house? Would you give up your job? Better yet, would you give up the ideal life that you had always planned for the pursuit of an obedient relationship with Christ? I find it very hard to pursue the relationship over the “wants” of this life.

In fact, I’ve been fighting this battle my whole life. I give up one thing to be obedient, then Jesus comes along and asks for another, then another, then another… Will it ever stop!? But the real questions is: What kind of person would I be if Christ stopped being first? Would I, could I become like one of those TV evangelist who say that if you follow Jesus, He will give you everything you’ve ever wanted? I hope not. For me, and this probably isn’t for everyone, but I found that following Jesus means giving up my wants for His; which is an extremely hard and long process. I mean, it’s hard when I’m fighting Him, but when I finally give up because I can’t hold out any longer the peace and happiness that comes from Jesus alone is always worth the pain.

I’ve found that our worries are of this world, and our pains are many times because of our disobedience. We want until we can want no more, until we are full of one thing and move on to another. We worry about the things we have and it cripples us into fear. We worry that we “won’t have enough,” that “things won’t be the same,” and “what if we run out of money?” I’ve found that we don’t put enough faith in the One who gives us everything.

Matthew 6:25-27 says, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

If God is good enough and powerful enough to feed the birds of the air then He is certainly good enough and powerful enough to feed us. But this of course takes faith. This statement in itself takes means we move from passivity to activity. This statement itself means that we must do something with our faith, or there may be no faith at all.

So, I’m holding onto stuff and Jesus is holding on to me. I’m waiting for a “want” while Jesus is waiting for me. I hope that He will be patient enough for me to come around…


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